The Frigging Oil Drum, RIP

When we moved into our house two years ago, it was kind of like walking into a scene from Silent Hill. Dumpsville; gross yellowing blinds on all the windows, drawn of course; back deck closed in with translucent plastic, everything once glorious but now tattered and dark. Anyway, the old lady we got it from took her crap and we ripped out all the seamy bits and voila! Beautiful, Victorian house. Anyway, there was a lot of junk let behind, including this oil drum (you can see some of the tattered plastic in the background):

oildrum.jpg

So this piece of garbage has been sitting in our backyard forever. We’ve tried to ditch it several times, 1-800-GOT-JUNK wouldn’t take it and a scrap dude wouldn’t take it. So I called the city, and they told me to leave it out on Wednesday night and they would pick it up Thursday. We got back home and some sketchy dude was like: “C’est des viandages, ca?” and I was like: “OUI!” and he took it. But before he took it he decided to dump the contents onto the sidewalk. Now its a frigging oil drum and the reason nobody would take it was because there was a tiny bit of oil in the bottom. So this ding dong is dumping the shit on our sidewalk and we’re like: “Isn’t that oil?” and he’s like: “No, I think it’s wine,” and he takes the drum and leaves. F*cking liar, it was so obviously gas.

Like an hour later it stinks like oil and I go look and our sidewalk is basically covered with gasoline. I was pissed. I cursed that guy out like crazy and busted out the hose and pulled a classic Park-Ex and started watering the sidewalk. There are so many kids that play in the laneway and not to mention Neptune so I was so burnt that that guy was so irresponsible. He couldn’t just pour it into the gutter, that would have been 1) too easy for everyone, and 2) too logical. So I am out there watering the sidewalk forever. I feel like I’m trying to save some ducks from an oil spill, I have to get gloves and pull a bunch of plants because they hold the oil. At one point Murray comes out and is like: “Its supposed to rain,” and I realise I’ve totally gotten OCD about the whole thing. Like any tiny rainbow-slick spot needed to be blasted for at least 30 seconds with water; and every tiny pebble had to go. OK. So I left it and came inside but this is not over…

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One thought on “The Frigging Oil Drum, RIP

  1. What an asshole! How people like that can live with themselves I’ll never know.

    As I just joined up, just wanted to say how much my wife and I enjoyed your performances in Edinburgh and Dublin last year – well the last song of the Edinburgh one, our fricking plane got delayed, so we flew all that way just for a fleeting glimpse of y’all before Editors came on (yawn). Hope you announce some North American tour dates around October (hint hint) soon!

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