While surfing the radio waves, either looking for the CBC, or searching for a dead station to run the iPod through, we randomly stopped on a new country station, where a woman was singing: “God bless the Canadian housewife.” I was driving at the time – and let me take you on an aside, in the form of a poorly written, run-on sentence, that I still don’t have my license, just my learner’s for the second time, which the first time I let expire, so I am determined to get my license before my permit expires. ANYHOW, I drove from Bracebridge to Peterborough (if that means anything to anyone) and upon hearing the aforementioned refrain, my brain began a detonation sequence: the first key was turned. Murray and I were like: “Waitasecond: did she just say…?” and at the repeat to fade of the scarily patriotic phrase, the second key was turned, the cover flipped up and the red button pressed: my head exploded.
What the hell? “God Bless The Canadian Housewife?” Yeah, OK, what person that you know (only 40 years and unders allowed) is a dedicated housewife anymore? So dedicated that they actually have the time and money to do all the crafts in every issue of Martha Stewart Living magazine? So singularly dedicated to housewifery that they need their own new country anthem? Who frigging wrote this song? Oh, Jann Arden (figures) wrote it and a band called SheDaisy sang it. OK but wait, while my brain is still a scattered, pulsating, spongy mess, I learn that that THIS SONG IS A CANADIAN VERSION OF “GOOD BLESS THE AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE.” So if you are not Canadian you won’t appreciate how desperately Canadian this is. I mean, did our conservative prime minister Stephen Harper commission this project? Wow. Can we Canadians just take it easy a bit on the USA bandwagoneering? It’s really starting to get scary.