Kids These Days (Condescending Blog)

I haven’t blogged here in a while, so I’m going to take this opportunity to WAIL on a couple of “self proclaimed music critics” or “bloggers” as it were (see below). Now, it is obvious to me that these are young people (20-somethings), trying to find their place in the world. They are learning about who they are and the things that define them. I know it. I lived it: I wrote for VICE from the age of 20 to 25. That’s your SNARK PRIME. In your 20’s, it’s your time to be flippant and critical: you’ve only emerged from your teens (when you know everything about the world) and entered into a nascent adulthood. A time to illustrate to the world how much you really know, because now you have to pay rent and get a job and be responsible for yourself.  

So this is my rant, my response to these arrogant bloggers who say that my band is boring to watch live, (despite describing in the previous sentence how the whole crowd was singing along and how they felt an inexplicable energy in the room) but that they wouldn’t be interested in The Dears once they took that experience home. I call bullshit on their words. BULLSHIT.

Kids these days are emerging from a digital haze, of being bombarded with millions of songs and thousands of bands. I understand, it can be difficult to make heads or tails of anything. What is good? Who knows? Who can we trust? Today’s youth have been programmed to not follow their heart, but to follow the blogosphere. They are influenced by everything and everyone. How can they know about music when they’ve never really listened to anything? They can’t know until they are 35, because that’s when they begin to know themselves. Until then they are bombarded with a culture that is desperately trying to compete for their attention. They bring several floor toms and impossible instruments on stage. They have crazy, premeditated outfits and freak out on stage, because that’s how they think they should act. Otherwise how will they cut above the rest?

THANK GOD I “show my age” on stage. Do you know what that is called? DIGNITY.

On the flip side I thank the hundreds of other people who did enjoy the show! I admit it wasn’t our best show ever but it was loads of fun. And we got some great reviews from Spinner.com and Telescope Media. This blog even called us a “buzzband” which in my opinion, defies the very definition of the word.

And finally, I congratulate the young writers whom I have addressed here for being annoying enough to draw attention to themselves. You have succeeded in your task! You can read the “show reviews” written by “music fanatic” Shawn Burgess at THE iNDiE MACHiNE and also Lisa Lagace at TurnTheRecordOver.com. Thank you for farting all over everyone else’s experience (including mine), and for reluctantly enjoying the show! Please respond in the comments section below!

P.S. I reference God for effect and do not adhere to any him/her/it theology.

MUSICAL INTERPRETATION: Them Kids by Sam Roberts

Update your Bookmark Toolbar

Let’s face it: the main function of the internet is to consume our time while giving us a feeling of accomplishment. Does scouring Facebook for information on our “friends” qualify as social research or a waste of time? Everybody has their favourite sites, their Bookmark Toolbars with their most visited places. While wasting some time of my own, I found this story: A.V. Club’s Favourite Time-Wasting Websites. I realised it was time to update my bookmarks.

For about a year I’ve been addicted to Perez Hilton. It’s been like a car crash: I have to look, at risk of seeing something terrible. That’s a human reaction, right? Anyway, I have seen several accidents, train wrecks, and tons of stupid, baby-la-la shit. Sometimes its funny, sad, tragic and definitely juvenile. Sometimes I agree, others I disagree. But it is celebrity paparazzi culture, so I don’t let it affect me too deeply. But of all the double-standards that are all over that site (like some people are gross when they smoke, others are allowed), the final double-standard was when he announced that he was starting a record label. This label is going to be a success, and I have to give Perez props for deconstructing the entire entertainment industry, only to rebuild it under his rules. He really gives it his all, his personality is invested in the total identity of the site, and will spill over into the identity of his label. Excellent marketing.

And so I realised I needed a new vision when it comes to trash talking. I deleted my Perez bookmark and am feeling like I will get the same content between my music “industry” newsletter, Go Fug Yourself and new addition, Dlisted. Round it out with NME.com, the BBC and the occasional local perspective from either Midnight Poutine or Fagstein and there you have it: the world in pop culture.

Update your bookmarks accordingly.

Past/Present/Future

As we press forward, always on and toward the future, looking to what is ahead and unknown to solve today’s puzzles, we often forget to remember the past and things that were before; things that might not be searchable via Google. I was reminded of this idea twice this week: how the internet has spawned into an ultimate, multi-faceted reference source that has essentially triggered the foreclosure of the print publishing industry.

The first was a post from a blog called Victorian Horror that talks about our new album. The author, Victoria, says: “Aww, the Dears. I stumbled upon them about four years ago when I first moved to Chicago. I was on one of my CD buying sprees where I trusted the blurb at the record store, or just bought it unheard based on the 4-star “Q Magazine” rating on the sticker. Those were the days, when discovering new music came with a risk….the prospect that you may have just laid down $16.00 for a crap album! This was before I had bought my computer of course…a more innocent time!

And the second: One Man’s Quest to Digitize and Publicize Rare Records, 78 by 78, tells the story of recordings on their way to being “lost” forever: record labels that don’t exist potentially may not care to digitize old masters. Masters that tell of a culture that once existed, proliferated, and dictated in certain ways how we think, interact and appreciate music today.

The past inhibiting the future and the future inhibiting the past. Which do we preserve? Which informs our lives in a more meaningful – though minute – way?