No Clotheslines Allowed

Oh wow. As if suburban development wasn’t bad enough for killing communites and inner cities, they also hate the environment: Ontario Wants to End Clothesline Ban by Summer. In a quest for complete homogeny and quaint plain-ness, many housing developers put strict rules on the cosmetics of the “neighbourhoods” they build. I.E.: You can only paint your house certain colours, you can’t plant certain trees and plants in your garden, you can’t change the front door or number address plate, don’t even think about a fence, etc. And you can’t have clotheslines outside because they’re an eyesore. Oh, and they’ve also prohibited solar panels (ugly!). OK: so move in somewhere but please don’t show any character or individuality. Actually, it would make things easier if you really just didn’t have a personality, either. Just go to work and come home like the drone you are.

It’s kind of like living in a condo, but spread out. I remember when we were kids and these subdivision communities just began cropping up around Toronto. My family used to joke, calling them “Poo Villages” because every single house was all brown: paint, roof, door, bricks. Everything. Welcome to Poo Village. (And yes, my dark sense of humour has ancient origins.)

Anyhow, whose idiotic idea was it to ban cheap and easy ways to save energy? The developers probably made a deal with the electricity companies so they could make more money. Now, the increasingly green-obsessed province of Ontario is just now catching on to this really, really mind-blowing by-law. It will probably take years of legislation to even lift the ban in every community, and like phosphates in dishwasher detergent, we will keep polluting and destroying our country without even really knowing it. Because it’s legal, and the normal thing to do.